What a week! The fitting of the kitchen is dragging on. It's been stressful and a big inconvenience. I've lived on chicken and rice for meals with the kitchen being out of bounds and limited cooking facilities.
On Friday afternoon Isla's consultant phoned to give me the results we've been waiting for. Unfortunately we did not hear what we'd been hoping. One of Isla's scans is called the MIBG scan, the dye will attach itself to neuroblastoma cells and light up the imagery to show the consultant where the cancer is. Isla's liver picked up the MIBG dye. Many consultants have looked at the imagery and discussed whether it is cancer or just a false positive. Isla's liver has always looked 'grossly abnormal' since diagnosis, the flow through it is poor and it is nodular. The consultants don't 'think' it is cancer but cannot guarantee this is the case. It may jsut be that the dye has attached itself and taken longer to filter out of the liver?! It is not bad news, but it has not been good news either. It just means we can't move on.
When the consultant was on the phone, I felt ok, reassured. I contacted my husband to get him to phone me as soon as he had the chance, and while waiting for his call, I became more and more upset. My mood for the rest of Friday and most of that night was not good. I was very down and turned to my comfort - drink and snacks! I didn't go on a binge, I had 3 vodka's with low fat crisps and a kti kat, but that eating has continued throughout the rest of the weekend.
Most of Friday evening I spent cleaning the kitchen and stocking up some of the cupboards ready to bake on Saturday. Most of Saturday was spent catching up on almost a week's worth of washing and baking for a car boot sale we held to raise money for Isla today. It has been a busy weekend. I'm glad for it as I am in a better mood for it, ready to feel positive, unfortunately the eating has not been great especially with left over home baking in the house this evening!
But, tomorrow I'm ready to climb back on the horse and get on with the diet!
Don't be daft Sam - you are entitled to have something that makes you feel good inside, especially after being sent into turmoil like that with Isla's results. Dieting and watching what you eat is the last thing you feel like doing at a time like that and having a blow out is not the end of the world. Just pick it up again when you feel back to normal and more settled again - bet you still manage to lose this week:)
ReplyDeleteps. keeping everything crossed for Isla, hopefully the results will be clearer when you get the test done again and it will be good news x