Thursday 22 August 2013

Logan's Legacy

Last year, the Sunday Post had a big launch for this years Kiltwalk's, teaming up with 'Oor Wullie' as the new face.  Reading that paper, Ross suggested doing 3 Kiltwalk's - Glasgow, Edinburgh and Speyside.  I hastily agreed, and had my own suggestion - doing it as part of a team for Logan's Fund.

We always wanted to give back to Logan's Fund, just hadn't had the chance yet.  About March 2010, while stuck in hospital with a temperature in isolation for the umpteenth time, I was searching on the internet for a holiday for the family once Isla had completed her hospital treatment.  Someone had suggested the charities that granted wishes for sick children, but searching showed that Isla wasn't old enough to be eligible for this.  Someone else suggested fundraising myself to raise the money needed for our family holiday, and so my first blog began.  We were overwhelmed with the support and donations received (and still are), and one donation in particular.  We were contacted by Logan's Fund offering £3000 towards our holiday to Disneyland Paris!

Logan Reece Main was born on 16th January 2006, a much longed for child to Angela and Chris.  In August 2008 Logan developed swelling in the abdomen, and he was admitted to the local hospital and immediately transferred to Royal Aberdeen Children's Hospital with a diagnosis of Neuroblastoma.  Like many children having treatment for cancer, things didn't go smoothly.  Logan hardly got home.  An operation to remove the tumour was complex, and planned to happen in Great Ormond Street Hospital following further chemotherapy.  While researching possible treatments for Logan, his parents discovered other treatment that Logan could have abroad after the tumour removal, but these would be expensive, and so Logan's Fund was established to raise the money  needed.

Although Logan wasn't often well enough to get home, nothing fazed him.  He was a much adored child and patient of the hospital.  I never got to meet Logan.  When Isla was diagnosed in April 2009, we spent ten days in the hospital in Aberdeen before being transferred to Yorkhill.  That time spent for me was spent in a room with Isla with the door shut to the outside world.  Ross stayed in the parent accommodation at night, and would pay visits to the cafe for coffee etc, and had a chance to meet other parents going through the same as us.  Ross met Angela, and discovered her son Logan also had Neuroblastoma, like Isla.

When my mum came to visit us that weekend she'd brought the local paper with her, while flicking through I was drawn to a story.  The story was about Logan, and the fundraising to get him treatment abroad.  I remember the surreal feeling of reading a story like that, with the reality of the situation in our ward, and in our lives.  Many people will be like me, and be drawn to stories like that in the newspapers, and this time the story was close to home, we were just like these people in the papers.  You don't ever think that will happen to you.  It's not the natural order of things; children getting cancer.  You think it happens when people get old, or smoke too much etc.  Magazines and newspapers had been full of the story of Jade Goody, losing her battle with cancer, shocking enough when cancer effects young women.  While pregnant with Isla, two friends were also diagnosed with cancer.  The truth of people 'not old' getting cancer was now reality for us.

Once we'd been in Yorkhill for a while I contacted Angela, as she was the only other person at the time I knew with a child suffering Neuroblastoma.  She was able to offer support and advice.  Unfortunately, it wasn't long before Logan lost his life to the terrible disease.  Isla had turned a corner, and we were full of hope, and the reality of what could happen came with news of his death.  Logan received a great send off, he had touched the hearts of many in his short life.  When we returned to the hospital in Aberdeen, photos of his happy face were a welcome sight on the ward.



I kept in touch with Angela, and as I said we were overwhelmed with the offer of money for a holiday from Logan's Fund.  It had been decided to keep Logan's Fund going, in his memory, using the money raised to help other children and families in a similar situation.  Logan's Fund have donated to the Schiehallion Ward in Yorkhill, MFR Cash for Kids, CLAN (Cancer and Leukaemia in the North), Families Against Neuroblastoma, to help buy suits that enable children with a hickman line to swim.

Logan's Fund also started an annual family fun day, held in Lossiemouth every August.  The fun day raises money to donate to charity.  In 2010, money was raised for FAN, in 2011 for Make a Wish and in 2012 for the Neuroblastoma Alliance (NCCA).  This years one will be held this Sunday 25th August from 12 - 5pm, with a car boot sale at 10am.  So, if you're in the area, please do pop along!

Logan's Fund have helped families with a child affected by cancer, and want to continue to do so.  Fundraising in the name of your child is not an easy thing.  You share things, hear things and answer peoples questions and it's difficult to do that.  Being a family affected by childhood caner is difficult, people who you have become friends with through the shared experience suffer terrible loss.  Angela and Chris have suffered their own loss, yet want to keep Logan's legacy alive fundraising and supporting others.  In gratitude to the support they offer, we wanted to give something back, so one way is doing the Kiltwalks for Logan's Fund.  If you haven't yet donated to us, please consider a donation, so that Logan's Fund can continue helping others, leaving a lasting legacy of a beautiful wee boy.

To donate to our 3 Kiltwalks for Logan's Tartan Army, you can do so here:

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=simpsons4logan

Or to donate to the team doing the Speyside Kiltwalk for Logan's Fund, you can donate here:

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=LogansTartanArmy2013&isTeam=true





Tuesday 20 August 2013

The big day has arrived!

I've just sat down at the computer after eating my breakfast, I've uploaded this mornings photos to the computer, and I'm sat here now trying to make sense of the many emotions I'm feeling just now.

Today is a big day for us - Isla's first day of school.  I'm a little bit lost without my best friend at my side, supporting each other.  Ross is a few hundred miles away across the North Sea on his first stint with his new job.  I know he'll be feeling lost being so far away from her.

I keep thinking back to a comment that was made to us in hospital over 4 years ago, when Isla started to get better after being seriously ill, when she started smiling and making happy sounds after weeks of lying unwell with a cry or a moan as her only sounds.  The doctor said to us "bet you never thought you would see her smile again", or something to that effect.  I was thinking, I never thought I wouldn't.  What was harder to imagine for us was her being just like lots of 4/5 year old's in Scotland today and going to school perfectly healthy.

No smiles, having been through a lot just a month from diagnosis.

We were lucky that after Isla pulled through from her first couple of chemotherapies, suffering multiple infections, being close to organ failure, suffering with chylous ascites, the rest of her treatment was easier.  It wasn't a breeze, but we never had the scary times again that we had at the start of treatment.  We will always be so grateful to the care Isla received on Schiehallion Ward at Glasgow's Yorkhill hospital.  They really did look after our baby girl, carefully getting her through the worst, so we could experience the best.

When walking the Hampden Kiltwalk this year, we had to walk through the grounds of Yorkhill, once I got round to the front of the hospital I couldn't walk fast enough to get out of there, so many memories came flooding back, I'm sure that's why I experienced a panic attack later on in the walk.  I was taken aback at the emotions that were triggered just walking through the grounds.

We spent a lot of time in hospital that first year from diagnosis, and many times after being allowed home from hospital or after a clinic visit, our time at home was cruelly robbed away with mysterious temperatures, infections etc and back to hospital we went.  When our stays in hospital did come to an end I treasured all my time at home with Isla; enjoying our days just sat cuddling on the sofa with a DVD, baking, adventures, lunch out with daddy.  Ross has been lucky that he's got to spend a lot of Isla's life with her too since having terminal leave with the RAF.

Since the day the C word entered our lives, I vowed to take life 'one day at a time'.  It gave me the strength to get through the worst.  Maybe it's why I never really imagined today up until recently.  I've been scared to picture today in case it was cruelly taken away from us, like it has to so many of the families we've got to know.  Unfortunately too many families suffer from a diagnosis of childhood cancer, and the worst happening.  I can never think of our journey with Isla without thinking of all the other families we've met, and what they've had to go through, and the loss they've suffered.

We are extremely grateful to the universe that we've reached today and Isla walked into school without a care in the world or a glance back at mum!


Ready for her first day of school.

I'm going to enjoy the afternoons this week, before Isla is full-time at school next week.  I know how lucky I am that we're getting this time together.  In less than two weeks time I'll be doing my third Kiltwalk this year, and my second Speyside Kiltwalk.  The walk is not easy, but I know it's easier than Isla's journey, and so many other children and their families suffering from illness and loss.  I will think of that when I'm struggling on my walk.  I will be reflecting, it will get me through, hopefully Ross will be home to be at my side, supporting each other.  The Kiltwalk is exactly that, supporting families suffering with childhood illness in Scotland.  Hopefully, many families like ours will know the support of the charities that the Kiltwalk helps, and many families will also realise just how special a first day of school is.